We rescued Jasper and he rescued me right back. — Meet My Emotional Support Puppy My emotional support puppy is named Jasper. Jasper is a Rhodesian Ridgeback with some Black Mouth Cur and regular ol’ hound thrown in for good measure. That’s Jasper up there in the photo, holding his wombat. We rescued Jasper from a St. Paul animal shelter almost five years ago. Our…

There’s a sentence I never thought I would type. — Last Saturday during a rally in Michigan, MENSA member Marjorie Taylor Greene told her audience that electric cars are “emasculating.” I think a lot of men would agree with her. Her exact words were an attack on Pete Buttigieg and thinly veiled homophobia. She said, “Democrats like Pete Buttigieg want…

Apologies to Dr. Seuss — Congratulations! Today is your day! You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head Unless you get shot But it’s okay You’ll get a prayer and a thought You’ll look up and down streets Look ’em over with care It really doesn’t matter Stay…

Holy cow, that sounds awful!

From the smell in our house, it wasn’t Jasper — At 7:28 this morning, our dog Jasper jumped onto my bed. Normally, I would sleepily reach out and pet him, then go back to dreamland for a bit. Today was different. As I opened one eye, my nose was assaulted, mauled, and violently attacked by the odor of skunk. I…

Did you love Chutes and Ladders? Or did you play “Why Does Mommy Hit Me?” — What was your favorite childhood game? Were you a board game player, or were you a hopscotch kid? Candyland was my game of choice. There were other games, too, games I didn’t choose. One of those games was “Why Does Mommy Hit Me?”. Often, we played “What Mood is Mommy…

Sometimes, more than sticks and stones. — We’ve all heard the adage, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” The meaning is clear: physical harm can hurt, but words cannot. This is a lie. Words stay with you, often for decades. When you are told as a child that you’re stupid…

But my hair looks so pretty! — During COVID quarantine, I began growing out my hair. To be honest, what happened was I tried cutting my own hair, realized that managing a hair salon did not mean I knew what I was doing, cried for two days, then said screw it, I’ll grow it out. I also…

They have been here a long time — There are monsters in my head They have been here for a very Very Very Long time When I was a teenager The monsters told me to kill myself Because my friends said I should have just let him “have sex” with me Even though that’s not what he wanted to do Even though I was fifteen and he was…