There’s a sentence I never thought I would type. — Last Saturday during a rally in Michigan, MENSA member Marjorie Taylor Greene told her audience that electric cars are “emasculating.” I think a lot of men would agree with her. Her exact words were an attack on Pete Buttigieg and thinly veiled homophobia. She said, “Democrats like Pete Buttigieg want…

Apologies to Dr. Seuss — Congratulations! Today is your day! You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head Unless you get shot But it’s okay You’ll get a prayer and a thought You’ll look up and down streets Look ’em over with care It really doesn’t matter Stay…

Seriously, how is this woman an elected official? — Marjorie Taylor Greene is a congresswoman from Georgia. People-actual people-elected Greene to office. Georgians walked into a voting booth and filled in the little circle by her name. On purpose. Rep. Greene is a right-wing conspiracy theorist who believes the 2020 election was stolen and California wildfires were started by…

Thomas Jefferson said, “Let he who has no sin cast the first stone.” — Dear America, My name is ̶A̶n̶t̶h̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶Z̶a̶b̶r̶o̶v̶s̶k̶i̶ George Santos and I am a United States congressman. It has been my dream since I was a little boy growing up on a tobacco farm in Battle Creek, Michigan, to be a United States congressman. ̶O̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶O̶l̶y̶m̶p̶i̶c̶ ̶v̶o̶l̶l̶e̶y̶b̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶e̶r̶.̶ As a…

Perfection is boring. — When I was seventeen, my parents took me to New York for my first interview with Juilliard. While we were there, we visited the Museum of Modern Art. I wandered, a bored teenager, disinterested in the art I saw on the walls. Until I saw “One Number 31.” I knew…

Inspired by my own love-hate relationship with this “helpful” tool. — “Ulysses” by James Joyce is considered one of the greatest books ever written. Joyce’s masterpiece was first conceived in Rome, but he wrote “Ulysses” in Zurich, Trieste, and finally, Paris. James Joyce was one of many authors who treated punctuation with a sense of casual glee (Dickens, Proust, Shakespeare), and…